It's been a long journey, filled with torment and agony, but I'm finally ready to rank my favorite five songs by Modest Mouse. The five in question come from three albums and one EP. It's taken a week of effort to get to this point, and I have to wonder how much the order would change if I repeated this exercise six months down the line.
I don't know whether anyone out there has followed this project from start to finish, but thanks for sticking with me if you have. Even if you violently disagree with my assessment, I hope that you appreciate the effort that went into the decisions. If you're still reading, I'm sure that you're a huge fan, as I am.
I've known for a couple of days three of the songs that would make my final five, but the other two were in doubt right up until I completed the previous installment in this futile series. If you're keeping track, you'll know which five songs are still under consideration. If not, I'll keep you in suspense a little longer by ranking them in reverse order. As always, I'll include a video link and the lyrics.
5. 3rd Planet - from The Moon & Antarctica
Everything that keeps me together is falling apart
I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over
My boss just quit the job says
He's goin' out to find blind spots and he'll do it
The third planet is sure that they're being watched
By an eye in the sky that can't be stopped
When you get to the promise land
Your gonna shake that eye's hand
Your heart felt good it was drippin' pitch and made of wood
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me
Outside naked, shiverin' looking blue
From the cold sunlight that's reflected off the moon
Baby cum angels fly around you, reminding you
We used to be three and not just two
And that's how the world began
And that's how the world will end
A third had just been made and we were swimming in the water
Didn't know, then was it a son was it a daughter
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming
Around in the water in the oceans, in our bodies
And another had been found, another ocean on the planet
Given that our blood is just like the Atlantic
And how
The universe is shaped exactly like the earth
If you go straight long enough, you'll end up where you were
I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over
My boss just quit the job says
He's goin' out to find blind spots and he'll do it
The third planet is sure that they're being watched
By an eye in the sky that can't be stopped
When you get to the promise land
Your gonna shake that eye's hand
Your heart felt good it was drippin' pitch and made of wood
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me
Outside naked, shiverin' looking blue
From the cold sunlight that's reflected off the moon
Baby cum angels fly around you, reminding you
We used to be three and not just two
And that's how the world began
And that's how the world will end
A third had just been made and we were swimming in the water
Didn't know, then was it a son was it a daughter
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming
Around in the water in the oceans, in our bodies
And another had been found, another ocean on the planet
Given that our blood is just like the Atlantic
And how
The universe is shaped exactly like the earth
If you go straight long enough, you'll end up where you were
3rd Planet works well as the opening track on The Moon & Antarctica. It sets the scene and asks questions about existence, our origins, and the meaning of life. I've mentioned several times that the songs on that album have the best overall flow of any Modest Mouse album. It feels wrong to split them up, but this one deserves a place in my Top 5. It's quiet and introspective for the most part, but the lyrics are among the best that Brock has ever written.
4. Exit Does Not Exist - from This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About
Does not exist, take an exit
Does not exist, take an exit
I hear voices insinuatin'
Feeds me lyrics to this song that I am sayin'
Sunlight 7:20 PM, early September
Standin' lookin' at a photograph
That you do not remember bein' taken
You look out of breath and me like I am fakin'
As a matter of fact
I don't recall this photo being taken
You don't even actually exist
So I just started shakin'
Does not exist, take an exit
Does not exist, take an exit
Does not exist, take an exit
I hear voices insinuatin'
Feeds me lyrics to this song that I am sayin'
Sunlight 7:20 PM, early September
Standin' lookin' at a photograph
That you do not remember bein' taken
You look out of breath and me like I am fakin'
As a matter of fact
I don't recall this photo being taken
You don't even actually exist
So I just started shakin'
Does not exist, take an exit
Does not exist, take an exit
This last entry from the band's debut is full of raw excitement. Jeremiah Green's drumming opens the track and is a vital component for the duration of the song. The vocals are right on the edge and almost unnerving, and everything blends with the desperation of the guitar. I imagine a lot of adrenaline flowing for both the band and the audience when this song is played live. It does allow us room to breathe around the halfway mark, but then it finishes with a flourish. I'm excited every time I hear this song. The swirling guitar provides the perfect ending as Green continues to go crazy on the drums.
3. The Whale Song - from No One's First and You're Next
I guess I am a scout
So I should find a way out
So everyone can find a way out
They keep us in
To pull us out
I'm rising up
Wish I was sinking down
And it's not like
There was warning
We were happy
And it's not like
There was mourning
In the warning
I know I am a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone can find a way out
I know I am a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone can find a way out
Instead of seeing a neighbor out
God, I wish I would've found a way out
It's the last time
We were happy
Ever happy
I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
Well I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
Well I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
So I should find a way out
So everyone can find a way out
They keep us in
To pull us out
I'm rising up
Wish I was sinking down
And it's not like
There was warning
We were happy
And it's not like
There was mourning
In the warning
I know I am a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone can find a way out
I know I am a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone can find a way out
Instead of seeing a neighbor out
God, I wish I would've found a way out
It's the last time
We were happy
Ever happy
I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
Well I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
Well I know I was a scout
I should've found a way out
So everyone could find a way out
Every time I hear the opening bass line of The Whale Song, I start to grin. When I first discovered it, I had to hear it at least three times a day or life wasn't worth living. The structure of the song is exactly right. It gradually builds and hits us with the lyrics halfway through. It seems to be about the band's success, and how they moved away from a small label and humble beginnings, to a situation which wasn't entirely comfortable. The second half of the song is more intense than the first, and provides an almost orgasmic release as it reaches its conclusion. There is no other Modest Mouse song that indulges the guitars quite like this one.
2. Doin' the Cockroach - from The Lonesome Crowded West
I was in heaven, I was in hell
Believe in neither, but fear them as well
This one's a doctor
This one's a lawyer
This one's a cash fiend
Takin' your money
Back of the metro
Ride on the greyhound
Drunk on the Amtrak
Please, shut up
Another rider, he was a talker
Talkin' 'bout TV
Please, shut up
This one's a crazer, daydreamin' disaster
The origin of junk food, ruttin' through garbage
Tasty but worthless, dogs eat their own shit
We're doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad not bad
One year, twenty years, forty years, fifty years
Down the road in your life
You'll look in the mirror
And say, "My parents are still alive"
You move your mouth, you shake your tongue
You vibrate my eardrums
You're saying words
But you know I ain't listenin'
You're walking down the street
Your face, your lips, your hips
Your eyes, they meet
You're not hungry though
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to be comin'
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to sleep in it
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
And oh, my mind is all, oh my mind is all
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to sleep in it
Believe in neither, but fear them as well
This one's a doctor
This one's a lawyer
This one's a cash fiend
Takin' your money
Back of the metro
Ride on the greyhound
Drunk on the Amtrak
Please, shut up
Another rider, he was a talker
Talkin' 'bout TV
Please, shut up
This one's a crazer, daydreamin' disaster
The origin of junk food, ruttin' through garbage
Tasty but worthless, dogs eat their own shit
We're doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad
Doin' the cockroach, yeah
Doin' the cockroach, yeah, yeah
Alright, not bad not bad
One year, twenty years, forty years, fifty years
Down the road in your life
You'll look in the mirror
And say, "My parents are still alive"
You move your mouth, you shake your tongue
You vibrate my eardrums
You're saying words
But you know I ain't listenin'
You're walking down the street
Your face, your lips, your hips
Your eyes, they meet
You're not hungry though
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to be comin'
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to sleep in it
Well, late last winter down below the equator
They had a summer that would make you blister
And oh, my mind is all, oh my mind is all
Oh, my mind is all made up
So I'll have to sleep in it
When I started this project, I knew that Doin' the Cockroach had strong claims to be my overall number one. As things turned out, it's just a hair behind in second place. The biggest reason that I like it is the music. It rocks, it flows, it spirals, it goes off at weird tangents, but it all makes perfect sense. I often drive along shouting 'not bad not bad' or 'please shut up' while it is playing, and then realize that I must look like an idiot. Who cares? Cockroach is such an enthusiastic rant that it's almost impossible to dislike the bouncy rhythm and all out exuberance. How the hell is there a Modest Mouse song better than this? I'm really not sure.
1. Teeth Like God's Shoeshine - from The Lonesome Crowded West
From the top of the ocean - Yeah
To the bottom of the sky - Goddamn
Well, I get claustrophobic
I can, you know that I can, well
From the top of the ocean - Yeah
To the bottom of the sky - Goddamn
Well I get claustrophobic
I can, you know that I can
And he said...
"I am not allowed much danger
Keep in line you're an old friend stranger
You'll burn me in effigy, and I'll burn you in effigy"
Well, a rattlesnake up in Buffalo, Montana
He bit the leg of the old sheriff
Ha! That boy fell down on his harelip Ow! Ow!
Well I, I might be wrong
But you, you tag along
And we, we all been wronged
And I get dizzier by the mile
Said hell ya! The money's spent
Went to the county line
And paid the rent I said, "Uh-oh"
I said "Uh-oh"
Oh! If you could compact your conscience
Oh! And you might...
Oh! If you could bottle and sell it you might have done
Oh! And you might...
Oh! If you could compact your conscience
And sell it save it for another time
You know you might have to use it
And the television's on
Go to the grocery store, buy some new friends,
And find out the beginning, the end, and the best of it
Well, do you need a lot of what you've got to survive?
Here's the man with teeth like God's shoeshine
He sparkles, shimmers, shines
Let's all have another Orange Julius
Thick syrup standing in lines
The malls are the soon to be ghost towns
Well so long, farewell, good-bye
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
Take 'em all for the sense of happiness
That comes from hurting deep down inside
Or you can add it up and give a shit, give a shit
Go to the family doctor it's all worth it, all worth it
And it's all wrong, and its all gone
Or, you can add it up and give a shit, give a shit
I'm on the corner of this and this and this and this
All wrong, and it's all, all wrong
Here's the man with teeth like God's shoeshine
He sparkles, shimmers, shines
Let's all have another Orange Julius
Thick syrup standing in lines
The malls are the soon to be ghost towns
well so long, farewell, good-bye
And the telephone goes off
Pick the receiver up, try to meet ends
And find out the beginning, the end and the best of it
OH MY GODDAMN
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
To the bottom of the sky - Goddamn
Well, I get claustrophobic
I can, you know that I can, well
From the top of the ocean - Yeah
To the bottom of the sky - Goddamn
Well I get claustrophobic
I can, you know that I can
And he said...
"I am not allowed much danger
Keep in line you're an old friend stranger
You'll burn me in effigy, and I'll burn you in effigy"
Well, a rattlesnake up in Buffalo, Montana
He bit the leg of the old sheriff
Ha! That boy fell down on his harelip Ow! Ow!
Well I, I might be wrong
But you, you tag along
And we, we all been wronged
And I get dizzier by the mile
Said hell ya! The money's spent
Went to the county line
And paid the rent I said, "Uh-oh"
I said "Uh-oh"
Oh! If you could compact your conscience
Oh! And you might...
Oh! If you could bottle and sell it you might have done
Oh! And you might...
Oh! If you could compact your conscience
And sell it save it for another time
You know you might have to use it
And the television's on
Go to the grocery store, buy some new friends,
And find out the beginning, the end, and the best of it
Well, do you need a lot of what you've got to survive?
Here's the man with teeth like God's shoeshine
He sparkles, shimmers, shines
Let's all have another Orange Julius
Thick syrup standing in lines
The malls are the soon to be ghost towns
Well so long, farewell, good-bye
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
Take 'em all for the sense of happiness
That comes from hurting deep down inside
Or you can add it up and give a shit, give a shit
Go to the family doctor it's all worth it, all worth it
And it's all wrong, and its all gone
Or, you can add it up and give a shit, give a shit
I'm on the corner of this and this and this and this
All wrong, and it's all, all wrong
Here's the man with teeth like God's shoeshine
He sparkles, shimmers, shines
Let's all have another Orange Julius
Thick syrup standing in lines
The malls are the soon to be ghost towns
well so long, farewell, good-bye
And the telephone goes off
Pick the receiver up, try to meet ends
And find out the beginning, the end and the best of it
OH MY GODDAMN
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
So, there you have it. Teeth Like God's Shoeshine is officially my favorite song by Modest Mouse. It was a close call, and on another day it could all be different. I like it because it's full of energy, and contains almost everything that I like about the band in just one song. It has great lyrics, fantastic flow, multiple layers, and showcases Brock's vocal range. The song is relentless and assaults you with information. It's quite a ride.
Here's a recap of the entire series
Songs 40 through 59 in alphabetical order:
Alone Down There
Breakthrough
Bukowski
Dashboard
Education
Florida
Lives
Lounge
March Into the Sea
Might
Missed the Boat
Perfect Disguise
Polar Opposites
Satellite Skin
Satin in a Coffin
Shit Luck
Space Travel is Boring
The Cold Part
The View
What People Are Made Of
Breakthrough
Bukowski
Dashboard
Education
Florida
Lives
Lounge
March Into the Sea
Might
Missed the Boat
Perfect Disguise
Polar Opposites
Satellite Skin
Satin in a Coffin
Shit Luck
Space Travel is Boring
The Cold Part
The View
What People Are Made Of
Songs 26 through 39 in alphabetical order:
A Different City
Convenient Parking
Custom Concern
Float On
Fly Trapped in a Jar
Gravity Rides Everything
Interstate 8
Life Like Weeds
Lounge (Closing Time)
Never Ending Math Equation
Novocain Stain
Paper Thin Walls
Parting of the Sensory
Truckers Atlas
Convenient Parking
Custom Concern
Float On
Fly Trapped in a Jar
Gravity Rides Everything
Interstate 8
Life Like Weeds
Lounge (Closing Time)
Never Ending Math Equation
Novocain Stain
Paper Thin Walls
Parting of the Sensory
Truckers Atlas
The Top 25:
1.
Teeth Like God's Shoeshine
2.
Doin' the Cockroach
3.
The Whale Song
4.
Exit Does Not Exist
5.
3rd Planet
6.
Spitting Venom
7.
Dramamine
8.
Heart Cooks Brain
9.
Talking Shit About a Pretty
Sunset
10.
Tiny Cities Made of Ashes
11.
Dark Center of the Universe
12.
Tundra/Desert
13.
Trailer Trash
14.
The Stars are Projectors
15.
Edit the Sad Parts
16.
Bury Me with It
17.
Ocean Breathes Salty
18.
Broke
19.
Head South
20. Steam Engenius
21.
Cowboy Dan
22.
Black Cadillacs
23.
I Came as a Rat
24.
Invisible
25.
The World at Large
If I assign points to the Top 25, with The World at Large receiving 1 point and Teeth Like God's Shoeshine receiving 25 points, the albums, EPs and compilations would be ranked like this:
The Lonesome Crowded West - 85 points
The Moon & Antarctica - 67 points
This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About - 65 points
We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank - 26 points
Interstate 8 - 25 points
Good News for People Who Love Bad News - 24 points
No One's First and You're Next - 23 points
Building Nothing Out of Something - 8 points
The Moon & Antarctica - 67 points
This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About - 65 points
We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank - 26 points
Interstate 8 - 25 points
Good News for People Who Love Bad News - 24 points
No One's First and You're Next - 23 points
Building Nothing Out of Something - 8 points
That confirms my gut feeling that The Lonesome Crowded West is my favorite album by Modest Mouse, and that The Moon & Antarctica is second. What surprises me is how close This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About gets to the top two. As I said at the outset, all of these releases contain plenty of great songs. It's almost impossible to accurately rank them, but I have done my best. There's probably not another person on earth who would come up with the same Top 25, or even the same Top 10.
Feel free to comment and add your own selections.
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 1
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 2
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 3
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 4
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 5
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 6
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 2
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 3
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 4
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 5
Modest Mouse: The Lonesome Crowded Quest - Ranking the Songs Part 6
